In short
As a partner or family member, you help most with an MPU (medical-psychological assessment, Medizinisch-Psychologische Untersuchung) if you support the change in daily life instead of dictating answers or taking control. The person concerned has to pass the MPU themselves: with their own insight, change that is actually lived and documented evidence. But you can do a lot to help this change become stable and keep the timetable on track.
Why do relatives play a role in the MPU?
Relatives play a role because the assessor wants to know whether the change has arrived in real life. A typical question in the psychological interview is: how do other people, for example family or colleagues, notice that something has changed?
A convincing interview therefore includes specific observations from daily life, for example that someone is more balanced, deals with stress differently or approaches celebrations differently. These changes do not happen in the counselling room, but at home, among friends and at work. That is exactly where you can support them.
Clear roles are important. The MPU checks whether the person concerned has themselves understood what happened and whether their change is stable. Your support does not replace working through the case; it makes it easier. The page MPU procedure explains how the MPU works overall.
How can you help in practice in daily life?
In daily life you help most with reliable, practical support that fits the reason for the MPU. The following overview shows what is useful and what tends to do harm.
| Helpful | Tends to do harm |
|---|---|
| Supporting an alcohol- or drug-free environment at home if abstinence is needed | Keeping alcohol within reach „just for guests“ or letting them secretly have a drink along with you |
| Making it possible to get to short-notice lab appointments | Letting the person drive themselves „just this once“ |
| Showing interest and listening without judging | Reproaches, moralising or constant questioning |
| Building new routines together, e.g. sport or leisure without alcohol | Simply letting old habits like the regulars' table at the pub carry on |
| Staying honest after setbacks | Covering up a slip together |
| Looking at costs and the timetable together | Putting on pressure with dates that are not realistic |
Note: Anyone without a valid driving licence may not drive – not even quickly to the bakery. Driving without a licence is a criminal offence and can lead to new criminal proceedings.
How do you support proof of abstinence?
You support proof of abstinence (Abstinenznachweis) mainly by securing appointments and daily life. The programmes work with unannounced tests, which the person usually has to attend within about 24 hours. A missed appointment can invalidate the whole programme, and the abstinence clock then starts again.
In practice you can help by:
- taking on a lift or childcare for short-notice lab appointments,
- watching out for hidden sources of alcohol in the household, because EtG can also be triggered by food containing alcohol or mouthwash,
- reminding them, if there is a hair analysis, not to dye, bleach or tint their hair, because this makes the EtG analysis unusable,
- planning parties and family celebrations so that going without is easy.
For the MPU, abstinence means 0.0: even one „slip“ can invalidate the programme. You will find all the rules under Proof of abstinence. The guide EtG test: food and mouthwash shows which everyday products can be critical.
What should you rather not do?
You should rather not do anything that steers the change from outside or endangers credibility. Otherwise well-meant help can backfire.
- Do not dictate answers: sentences learned by heart sound rehearsed, and assessors recognise this. The story has to be told in their own words.
- Do not play anything down: sentences like „It was only a slip“ do not help. If the file shows something else, trivialising does harm in the interview.
- Do not take on the blame: if you make yourself responsible for the behaviour, you shift the insight away from the person concerned.
- Do not act as a supervisor: constant monitoring creates pressure, but no inner motivation. The assessor specifically asks whether the change holds even without outside pressure.
- Do not support shortcuts: bought evidence is forgery of documents (Urkundenfälschung), and an EU driving licence based on a sham residence is generally not recognised in Germany.
- Do not believe promises of guarantees: providers with a „pass guarantee“ are not trustworthy.
How do you deal with a relapse?
It is best to deal with a relapse honestly and calmly. A positive result or a missed appointment usually invalidates the current programme, but it is not the end for good.
What matters is that nothing is covered up. A concealed relapse that comes to light later destroys credibility completely. Instead, help to understand the cause and to make a clean fresh start. Losing time is then part of reality, and the timetable has to be adjusted. The guide Relapse during abstinence describes how to make a successful fresh start.
In cases of dependence, support from the family is usually not enough. A therapeutic setting such as traffic therapy (Verkehrstherapie) or addiction treatment is then the right path.
Where does your support reach its limits?
Your support reaches its limits where it comes to working through things internally. The questions about why, about the actual purpose of the consumption or behaviour and about a sustainable motive have to be answered by the person concerned.
That is what qualified traffic psychologists are there for. Typical preparation (Vorbereitung) comprises 10–12 sessions of 60 minutes each over about 2–3 months, more or fewer depending on the case. Realistically, the costs of the whole MPU are around €1,500–4,000 (guide value 2026). If you are contributing to the cost, it is worth looking together at the cost blocks under MPU costs.
Also look after yourself. An MPU phase often lasts many months, and it is fine to set your own limits and talk openly about what weighs on you. The page MPU preparation explains what good preparation looks like.
What you can do now
- Talk openly about which support is wanted and which is not.
- Clarify together whether proof of abstinence is needed, and organise daily life accordingly.
- Plan journeys to short-notice lab appointments in advance, without the person concerned driving themselves.
- Support the search for trustworthy professional help instead of quick fixes.
- Look for support together via MPU Plus: find suitable preparation.
Frequently asked questions
Can I come along to the MPU as a partner?
Whether someone accompanying the person may enter the premises is up to the individual assessment centre, so ask there in advance. But the person concerned completes the questionnaire, examination, performance test and interview themselves. You can mainly help with the journey and the preparation.
Should I also give up alcohol at home?
This is not an obligation, but it can help a great deal if your partner has to prove abstinence. An alcohol-free environment lowers the risk of a slip that would invalidate the programme. Talk openly about what is feasible for both of you.
Can I teach my partner the answers for the interview?
This is not advisable, because answers learned by heart sound rehearsed and stand out in the interview. The assessor wants to hear the person's own story in their own words. It is more helpful to ask questions and honestly reflect back what change you notice.
What do I do if I notice a relapse?
Raise it calmly and do not help to cover it up. A concealed relapse that comes to light later destroys credibility completely. It is better to clarify the cause and make a clean restart of the programme.
